With summer coming quickly, this month I wanted to highlight helpful tips to navigate feelings of comparison and body anxiety in the summer months. For much of my childhood, I struggled with my body image. I always wore larger sizes than my friends, and always just felt different when it came to my body. When I was growing up, stores didn't have inclusive sizes. Every cute outfit my friend would buy would never come in my size, and it created so much negative energy around my body. I used to shy away from ANY opportunity that would involve showing my skin (pool parties, beach days, shorts or skirts in the summer, etc) and it created so much anxiety in my life from a young age. I was also so concerned about what others would think of how I looked that I let it define what I wore.
Remind yourself of all your body does for you - Just take a moment and think about all your body is doing for you just sitting here. You are comprised of MILLIONS (probably more than that) of cells that are working hard to break down different compounds and produce energy. Our bodies are doing multiple jobs all at the same time! When we begin to pick apart how we look, it can sometimes be valuable to take a moment to remind yourself of what your body DOES do for you. It does SO much more than we give it credit for.
Remember your thoughts are NOT facts - Just because those thoughts are there does NOT mean they are facts. In fact, those thoughts are often so distressing because they are NOT how we truly feel. Sometimes when we start to out think our thoughts, we can become overwhelmed. Instead of resisting and fighting those thoughts, just acknowledge them without feeding them. See those thoughts, and recognize they aren't you speaking.
Reflect on why you feel this way - tune into your inner child - The why can be so huge in discovering more about aspects of yourself to focus on and heal during your life. Its valuable to begin understanding the experiences you may have had that have changed the way you think about your body. Maybe it was something that happened in childhood or your adolescence. Maybe it was something someone said to you, or a way you felt. Its not about reliving those experiences as much as its recognizing where these thoughts originated and how you can change this path for yourself moving forward on your healing journey.
Practice self compassion and self love - This is by far the most important aspect of this post. Not only for body anxiety but for ANY stressful or difficult event in life. Self compassion is something that I absolutely LOVE to share on, because for many its something so many us us don't default to in a difficult moment. Take a moment to think about how you meet yourself when you encounter a difficult thought or emotions. I guarantee if you're reading this your default may be to start become judgemental or frustrated. Now this isnt going to be an overnight shift, and I want to highlight that this is NOT above toxic positivity and forcing ourselves to see only the positive in these moments. What is valuable is SUPPORTING ourselves through these thoughts and emotions as they arise. We start with acknowledging this is difficult. If it helps even say this out loud. THEN we reflect on what we need most to support ourselves. It may be a few kind words, maybe a break, some fresh air, or a practice to honour our bodies. This practice helps us to soften those moments and thoughts that may be distressing, and allows us to practice our ability to self soothe.
Cleanse your social media feeds - Last but not least, I wanted to focus on social media. There is SO much good that goes on on social media, but there can also be a ton of negativity, especially when it comes to our bodies. Growing up, I only ever saw celebrities and models who were a size 2, and I grew up as a size 18-20 and never truly felt like I fit in. I remember trying different diets and exercise plans to lose weight to 'be skinny', yet I constantly felt alone and out of place. Now we have models with different body shapes and sizes, and it ca be SO validating to see people that have bodies like ours in the news and on social media. Seeing people like Ashley Graham, Iskra Lawrence, @thebirdspapaya and SO many more makes me feel seen for having a body different from the 'ideal, skinny' body shape. Take a few minutes and unfollow any content that makes you feel less than. You do not need to consume media that makes you feel bad, frustrated, or different than others.
You are ALWAYS worthy of love. You are NEVER defined by the size of your clothes, or the weight on your scale.
NEVER forget that.
Sending love,
Carly
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